


Doing It By The Book

by thelimitsofthe_sea



Category: Animorphs - Katherine A. Applegate
Genre: Angst and Humor, Homework, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-13
Updated: 2015-01-20
Packaged: 2018-03-01 06:53:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2763785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelimitsofthe_sea/pseuds/thelimitsofthe_sea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I never know better when it comes to you (five times Ax helped Marco with his homework)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It's Going Down (One More Shot, Another Round)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm bored, let's do something.

 

<<Is this even a question? Please tell me that this is not actually a question. This must be some sort of human joke.>>  Marco gritted his teeth. This was about the fourth time in the last fifteen minutes that Ax had expressed his incredulity at Marco’s math homework.

“Okay. I get it. I think we’ve established by now that Andalites kick our ass when it comes to math."

<<Math? You call this math? An Andalite five year old could solve this in their sleep.>> Ax shook his head in disbelief.  Marco just glared at him.

“If you’re absolutely done feeling superior to me, can you just get on with solving the damn question?”

<<I apologize. I guess that back on the homeworld I was what one might call a “problem child” in my polyarithmetics class. I simply could never focus->>

“Let me guess. Some stunning Andalite female distracted our young hero?”

Ax shot him a look but ignored the comment. <<Anyways, it is a very satisfying feeling finally being better than someone.>>

“Even if that someone is just a pathetic stupid human who couldn’t outsmart an Andalite toddler?”

<<I didn’t say toddler, Marco. I said five year old. You should give yourself some credit.>>

“Oh, that makes it so much better, Ax-man. I stand corrected. I can go head to head with a two year old, my self-confidence just shot through the roof.”

Ax rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to the textbook. <<So anyways, back to quadratic functions. What you must understand about it is->>

“I honestly couldn’t care less.”

<<You know you’re going to have to do the test by yourself.>>

“I have too many things on my mind to have room for fucking parabolas. I have to contemplate the many profound questions of the universe.”

<<The profound questions of the universe.>> Ax repeated, and his stalk eyes flickered over to a tattered copy of _Playboy_ that was peeking out from under Marco’s bed. <<I see>>

Marco felt a flush on his cheeks. He had him there.

He quickly got bored of watching Ax do his math homework. (3 pages of questions- Ms. Robinette was a tyrant.)

“I’m bored. Let’s do something.”

<<I’m not finished yet. Even I can’t finish 50 question in two minutes and thirty eight seconds.>>

Stupid Andalites and their scarily accurate internal clocks.

“You do know that I have a family size bag of Cheetos in the kitchen.”

Marco could’ve sworn that Ax had morphed to human before he had even finished that sentence.

A few minutes later and they were down in the kitchen, Marco watching fondly as Ax stuffed handful after handful of cheesies in his mouth, a fine layer of orange dust coating his hands and face.

Marco glanced at the clock. Hmmm. His dad wouldn’t be home for another hour, so he might as well.

“Hey Ax. I’m going to show you something that will make you forget you ever liked Cheetos.”

“I don’t think that’ s possible. Ossible." Said Ax through a full mouth. Marco just grinned and opened the cabinet to the left of the fridge, rummaging until he found what he was looking for.  He held it up with a flourish.

“Tequila.” He grinned at Ax, as he took two glasses from the cabinet and sloshed a liberal amount into each.

“Tequila?”

“The nectar of the gods. It will make you forgot quadratic functions. It will make you forget we’re in the middle of a goddamn war. Hell, drink enough, and you’ll forget your own name!” He shot a wink at Ax. “You’re in for a treat.” He had to admit, he was feeling quite proud of himself, introducing Ax to the better things in this life.

He was a bit shocked to hear Ax scoff. “We Andalites are thousands of years more advanced in technology and culture than you humans, if you believe we have not already made the discovery of mind-altering chemicals, you are quite mistaken. ”

Marco paused for a moment. Come to think of it, the guy had a point. Ax came over to the counter and took his glass anyways.

“I am almost entirely certain that what you humans have crafted is inferior to the Andalite variety.”

Marco raised his eyebrows. “What, and you’ve had experience with that?” he said in disbelief. 

Ax shrugged, a human gesture he’d taken a liking to. “Foolish youthful indiscretions. Tions. You wouldn’t want to know.”

Marco was surprised to realize the he did want to know. In fact, he really _really_ wanted to know.

He shook the thought out of his head.

“Well, let’s find out,” he said instead. “Cheers.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So for years I've wanted to write M/Ax, so I'm taking a shot at it, for better or for worse. I literally wrote this chapter to destroy all the fic where Ax is all innocent sweet and clueless and Marco like , educates him. I find it really condescending and annoying, and I don't get why people get off on disempowered Ax. OKAY END RANT. Love yall <3


	2. Here We Go Again (I Think I Feel The Chemicals Kicking In)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No, Ax. We are not going on a midnight slurpee run.

Marco shoved the textbook away from himself in disgust.

"I seriously can’t read another word of this crap.”

<<Do you have a problem with the study of neurochemistry? I actually find it quite fascinating.>>

“I really don’t want to know that every single damn thing we feel is caused by freaking organic molecules.”

<<It is rather sentimental of you to be distressed by a simple biological reality.>>

“I mean, come on, man!” Marco exclaimed, gesticulating emphatically, “Love is just a combination of oxytocin and vasopressin? It’s just an excess of dopamine and cortisol? That’s the most depressing thing I’ve ever read.” 

<<Depressing? I’m afraid I don’t see what you mean.>>

 “Look at all the great love stories of history. Antony and Cleopatra. Romeo and Juliet. Hell, even Jack and Rose.  Are you trying to tell me all of that was just a simple chemical reaction?” Marco glared at Ax as if he was personally responsible for the human brain structure. “So all the art and books and stupid songs we’ve written about it are all just completely pointless?

Ax blinked, a little stunned, at Marco’s outburst, and then his eyes smiled in amusement. <<You are very passionate about this, Marco.>>

Marco shrugged, a little embarrassed, but still defiant. “I just want humanity to mean something, okay? I should know better, but I want it to mean something.”  

<<There’s really no need to be upset. Just because there’s a scientific explanation behind emotions doesn’t mean they’re not real or not valid. >>

Marco rolled his eyes, suddenly self-conscious. “Yeah, whatever. It doesn’t matter.”

<<It matters to you. >>

“I guess I’m just a sentimental idiot, like you said.” Marco said scathingly.

Ax looked at him, head tilted in contemplation.

 <<A blue sky is a source of happiness and comfort to most people. There’s something about that particular shade that is universally recognized as a symbol of optimism. However,  technically speaking, the sun’s light is formed of energy waves corresponding to all colours on the spectrum. We only see blue because it travels in shorter, smaller waves and is scattered easily. >> He paused, gathering his thoughts. << I guess what I’m trying to say is what we see is more important than why we see it. >>

Marco stared at him for a long moment, then burst out laughing. “You know, for an alien, you’re actually pretty deep. I’m impressed.”

<<I live to impress you, Marco. Now, I believe we still have to read through the rest of the chapter and answer some questions. >>

A few minutes later, however, and Ax was the one interrupting their studying.

<<Do you know what else releases dopamine?>> he said, his tone perfectly innocent.

 _Well, this is going to be interesting,_ Marco thought, his mind perhaps not so perfectly innocent. And then Ax turned towards him and looked him dead in the eyes-

 <<Sugar. >>

Marco groaned. “No, Ax. We are not going on a midnight slurpee run.” _What the hell did you think he was going to say?_

<<That is why 24/7 convenience stores exist, Marco. I personally believe they are humanity’s most important invention. >>

“No. I’m putting my foot down this time.”

But then Ax made his stupid pathetic eyes and sure enough they found themselves wandering down deserted suburban streets at 1 am happily knocking back extra-large cherry and vanilla flavoured slurpees and Marco found himself grinning stupidly and feeling better than he had for a long time. 

 “Hey, Ax?”

“Yes, Marco?”

“I think I’m down with this dopamine thing.”

“I told you sugar would do it.”

Marco nodded and laughed, but he didn’t think it was the slurpee.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So basically my headcanon Marco pretends not to care about stuff because he actually cares too much.


	3. I Was Just Guessing at Numbers and Figures (Pulling Your Puzzles Apart)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And I think we deserve that much.

Ax read over Marco’s psych notes, his expression troubled. Marco knew that although he tried his best to be useful and help him with his homework, the subject upset him. He couldn’t really blame him. The world is a fucked up place, and it sucks being reminded of that, as if they didn’t have enough firsthand experience of that already.

<<Am I understanding this correctly? >> Ax said, and although his tone was quiet, there was something hard as metal in it.  <<After only one two days the participants had adhered so strongly to their assigned roles that they began to follow them unquestioningly? >

“Yeah, the teacher said its cognitive dissonance or something.” Marco shrugged. “Like when you hold two conflicting beliefs, so you change how you think in order to rationalize it. So in the case of the Stanford Prison experiment, that would be the fact that they performed their roles even though they probably came in thinking that prison brutality was awful and twisted.”

<<You actually do pay attention in class occasionally, Marco.”

“As if you can judge!” Marco retorted, chucking an eraser at him, which Ax easily deflected. You really couldn’t say anything bad about Andalite reflexes. But then his face turned serious again.

“Hey,” Marco said. “You okay?”

<<Usually when I help you with your psychology work or hear things on the news, I’m able to distance myself from it. >> Ax paused. <<We are a pacifist species, and events like senseless killing and rape and random acts of violence don’t really happen. But with this… we’re guilty of it too. Blindly following authority. Internalizing the system so much that you don’t even question it anymore. >>

Marco laughed, a short bitter sound. “Yeah, well, most people are guilty of that.” He started twirling his pencil on the table, suddenly unable to look at Ax. “You know. Playing roles. Doing things we wouldn’t ever have dreamed of doing because we’re told it’s necessary.  What’s scary is how quickly you adapt.”

<<You’re thinking of Rachel? >>

“I’m thinking of all of us.”  

There was a heavy silence.  

When Ax spoke, his voice was cautious but soft. <<In the end, one of the conclusions they drew from the experiment was situational attribution. The situation they were in is what resulted in their behaviour. It wasn’t inherent in their personalities. >>

Marco’s laugh was a real one this time. “Thanks, Ax man. Thanks. You’re actually pretty good at this comforting thing.”

<<I was not trying to comfort you. I was merely stating the facts. >> Ax protested, but his eyes were smiling.

“Anyways, this shit has me depressed. I think a bag of chips and a good solid hour of video games should cure it.”

<<I think I can agree to that. >>

Fifteen minutes later, and Marco was in the zone, totally focused on winning the battle. He was goddamn not losing to Ax, who was insufferably smug whenever he won anything.

“YES!! Ha, take that.” He had finished the battle with five extra points. Ax sniffed.

“To use one of your human expressions, it’s not over until it’s done. Un.”

“I can smell fear a mile away, you know.” They both reached into the chip bag at the same time, and their fingers brushed.

“Hey,” Marco said suddenly. “What do you think some psychologist would say if they could see us playing, you know, violent war games? I mean it’s pretty fucked up to take a break from actual killing to kill pixels, you know.”  Ax paused and thought for a moment.

“If we survive, we will probably spend a lot of time in therapists’ offices having everything we’ve ever done psychoanalyzed. Zed.  For now, however, we have to cope however we can, even if it is questionable. And I think we deserve that much.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I think you’re right.”  Then they turned back to their game, and even though Marco spent most of his time just trying to survive, sometimes, just sometimes, he actually felt like he was living.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trying to get them to have conversations about feelings and stuff without getting too ooc is hard but i tried!


	4. Roughing Up Our Minds So We're Ready When The Kill Time Comes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is no such thing as a clean victory.

It was funny watching his classmates learn about war. Shuffling their feet, passing notes, covering yawns.  In another lifetime they were old enough to be in the trenches, but that thought didn’t cross their minds.  War was a concept, and idea, an interesting moral quandary. As vital to their existence but irrelevant to their daily lives as the fact that our bodies are composed of cells.  He wanted to shake them, to knock them out of their idiotic complacency.  War wasn’t distant or abstract at all. It was happening right now, they were in one, they just didn’t know it yet.  Okay, so maybe he was bitter. He had a right to be. While they get to learn about death and killing and loss in rows of black words on white pages, it was his at least once a week reality.  Well, 24/7 reality, really. It doesn’t go away, even when you’re at home eating pizza with your dad watching television like any normal teenager. It never goes away. For the most part he could read it and blank it all out, try to make a joke of it.  _Nice one, Mountbatten. You really thought that through, didn’t you?_ It wasn’t what the bad guys did that got to him. Mass extermination, torture, human experiments. Yeah, there’s a big evil in this world, he knew that. It was what the good guys did to get rid of that evil that got to him.

 “Over a million people. God, and that’s not even to mention all the people who died from radiation later.”

<<War demands great sacrifice, Marco.>>

“Yeah. But, you know, what’s the point? What’s the fucking point of winning if you give up the ideals you were fighting for in the first place?”

<<The point is that you still won.>> Steady gaze, level voice. Marco didn’t share his sense of composure.

“I can’t stand it. It’s just like something the Germans would do. We didn’t kill the enemy, we became it.”

<<You’re letting your moral outrage overcome your logical capabilities. I expect better from you.>>

“Well, I’m sorry to disappoint you, Ax.” Marco spat. “I guess I still feel things after all.”

Ax looked unimpressed. <<You know that’s not what I meant.>>

“Then what do you mean?”

<<Individual lives do not count for much when you are fighting for a greater cause.>> Ax could not quite meet his gaze.

“I don’t believe that, and I don’t think you do either.”

<<Perhaps you are right. But sometimes we have to make ourselves believe things in order to keep going.>>  Ax paused. <<There is a famous case of something similar to this on the Andalite homeworld. It has caused a great deal of debate amongst my people.>>

“Go on.”

<<The Andalite host of Visser Three was a War Prince known as Alloran-Semitur-Corass. He was in command of the Hork-Bajir mission. When it became apparent that defeat was inevitable, he had a virus developed which would solely infect Hork-Bajir, causing a rapid death, rather than letting them become Yeerk hosts.>>

Marco let out a low whistle. “Harsh.”

<<Better dead than a slave.>>

“Yeah, but who gets to decide that? You shouldn’t get to make that choice for someone else.”

<<Marco, there is no such thing as a clean victory. Please let go of this delusion, it will only cause you pain.>>

“I know. I know that. It’s just… I guess I just wonder if all the things we’ve done are going to be worth it in the end.” Marco shrugged helplessly, because he sure didn’t have the answers.

<<You are worried that we will be judged harshly in the future for the means we took to win.>>

“Nah, not really. If that was the case, we could pull a Castro, “History will absolve me” and all that. I’m thinking, what if we don’t win? Then every bad thing we’ve done will never be justified, it will all have been pointless. Every battle, every kill- meaningless. ”

Ax shook his head, violently. <<No. It isn’t pointless. Even if we lose, we put up a fight.  That means something, and the world will be better for it, even if we lose, that we at least tried.>>

“You really believe that, don’t you?”

<<I really do.>> Ax turned towards him and looked at him very seriously. <<There’s some good in this world, and it’s worth fighting for. >>

Marco groaned. “Okay, now you’re just quoting Lord of the Rings.”

<<I thought it was worth a shot.>>

“You should know better than to try and get a pop culture reference past me.”

<<I never know better when it comes to you.>>

Marco blinked for a second, a bit shocked. _Snap out of it, you idiot. He doesn’t mean anything by it._

“Okay, so I have to write a two page report on the surrender conditions of Japan, due on Wednesday….”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just want to clarify: I do NOT condone the actions of the US miliary in murdering Japanese civilians with the atom bomb, in fact I feel basically a mixture of hatred/disgust towards the military in general. So their opinions on it are not mine, I just wanted to play around with their thoughts on war/sacrifice/mercy, etc.
> 
> Last chapter will be up next week. Love youuuuuu guys <3


	5. And I'll Do Anything You Say If You Say It with Your Hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Somewhere I have never travelled/gladly beyond any experience

There was nothing Marco hated more than when people didn’t say what they meant. He didn’t have time to tiptoe around hidden meaning and intent. Which was probably why he was pulling a C minus in English.

“Okay, so why couldn’t Shakespeare just have been like, I have been hired by the monarchy in order to write a play that supports the monarchy so don’t commit regicide or Bad Things will happen to you.”

“Somehow I do not think that wouldn’t have gone over well.” Ax said, taking a sip from his cherry coke, “The thing about propaganda is that you’re supposed to make some attempt to disguise that its propaganda. Anda.”

“But even from a thematic perspective- power corrupts. We get it, okay? I don’t need to write a damn essay on it.”

“’Thematic perspective’, I’m impressed.” Ax said, earning an annoyed eye roll from Marco. Ax wasn’t much help when it came to English. If anything, he was even more practical and straightforward than Marco was, despite the fact that he could be oddly poetic and sentimental sometimes. He had enough difficulties already with understanding human culture so he wasn’t exactly great at deciphering literature. Marco didn’t really know why he had even asked him over, except that somehow this had become a Sunday night ritual and he would have felt strangely lonely on his own. Not that he would have admitted that much to Ax.

“You know what? Fuck Macbeth. Let’s work on the poetry unit instead!” Marco said with mock excitement, opening his textbook. “’Analyze a poem you love’,” he turned to a random page. “Oh, look! e. e. cummings, my absolute favourite!” He stood up with a flourish and held the book in front of him, Ax looking on in amusement. “Somewhere I have never travelled, gladly beyond any experience your eyes have their silence,” he read dramatically.  But he faltered over _your slightest look will easily unclose me/ though i have closed myself as fingers/you open petal by petal myself as Spring/opens (touching skillfully, mysteriously) her first rose_ and he could still feel Ax’s eyes on him and _oh my god what am I doing?_ but he had to keep reading or it would be even more awkward. So, struggling to keep the shake out of his voice he continued. But once he got to _rendering death and forever with each breathing_ he couldn’t go any further. He set the book down, shaking his head.

“That moved you.” Ax said, in his usual blunt way, a statement, not a question.

“Yeah,” Marco laughed. “Even I have to say that was beautiful.” He paused, collecting his thoughts. “Why are some people able to write stuff like that? Do writers feel more deeply than the rest of us or something?”

“I don’t think so. I think they’re just able to express it better. Etter.”

“Because sometimes,” Marco started, “I just think, I mean, I feel things,” and  god he was stepping onto thin ice and he didn’t want to fall through, but maybe it was time to cross this lake, “I feel things that I would like to express but I’ve never had the words to say it.”  Ax looked at him silently for a moment.

“I think,” he said, his tone low, “There are many different ways to show how you feel.”

And his voice and the tilt of his neck were an invitation, hesitantly offered but offered all the same, and goddamn if Marco wasn’t going to take it. Ax taught him that night that sometimes you speak the very loudest when you don’t use words at all.

“Well,” he laughed afterwards, breathlessly, resting his forehead in the hollow of Ax’s neck, “I’ll probably find a thing or two to write about that poem.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's the end of this short lil fic! English is actually my favourite topic, which is why I chose it as the final chapter. Love you guys <3 And yeaaaahhh it escalates a bit too quickly to be realistic... oh well, they go 0/100 real quick.


End file.
